Assignment:
A tragic timely event to discuss--the school shooting this week here in Ohio. Here's the question I'd like you to think about--Imagine you are the chaplain for the facility where the shooter is now being held. First, what do you feel as you anticipate your meeting with him (he hasn't asked for you, but you are by job description expected to go to him)? How will you "be present" to him? Second, shift the scenario and imagine you are the parents of the shooter. What feelings and thoughts now come to you? Try to be concise, but candid.
As the Chaplain:
I would understand that he is being judged by others. Therefore, I would have to be intentional to communicate that my purpose is to not be judgmental. In this way, I would need to prepare myself to show him the respect and dignity due to all people.
When present with him, the active listening we’ve been discussing would be vitally important. Being empathetic, but also honest and truthful about the reality is important. I would recognize that he is hurt and broken. He needs to experience healing and restoration from whatever he feels is so lacking. He needs to see any kind of hope – hope that extends from his past and into his future.
From a spiritual perspective, I recognize that worldly people engage in worldly and sinful activity. The only ‘antidote,’ of course, is Christ. Ephesians 4:17-19 highlights ways in which we can understand why he would do such a thing, “So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity [a.k.a., worldly desires], with a continual lust for more.” The ways of the world are darkened to the light of Christ, I would want to help build a bridge from the darkness to the light.
As the parent:
I would be utterly heart-broken. I would probably be running so many “what-if’s” through my mind about things I could/should have done differently. I would likely feel like I have failed in many regards: failed to spend time with him, failed to ensure he felt loved and nurtured, failed to make sure his ‘love tank’ was full (5 Love Languages), failed to ‘know’ him – really ‘know’ him, and more.
I would feel angry. First at myself, for all the above reasons, and then for my son, who ‘should know better’ and appalled at this terrible decision. I would feel angry over those kids at school and the many situations that perpetuated his hurt.
I would feel incredible remorse and guilt for all the above reasons, yes, but primarily for the families of the deceased. Despite the bleak future that awaits my son, at least he is still alive and has some hope yet for a changed future. The dead have no more hope.